And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
