I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
