So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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