Don't make out with my wife yet
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
