Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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