sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
