If that was your dad, he is hot
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
