chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
the day after is always just damage control
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
