can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
