Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Randomize
