The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
3pm strippers are depressing
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize