return my video game
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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