All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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