the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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