"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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