The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
