I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
