We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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