turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Randomize
