I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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