are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
