i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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