Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
