It's Friday. Sex?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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