It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My nipple is on Facebook.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
