There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I need moral support for this bender
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
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