Need sex. Gaining weight.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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