nut hugger
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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