i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
