Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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