i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Quick, to the slutcave!
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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