Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
