I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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