Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
