never play flip cup with pint glasses
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
