What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
