I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
