There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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