we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
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She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
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Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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