my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
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We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
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Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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