it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
