My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
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She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
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Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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