We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
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He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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