just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
