I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
