You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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