I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Randomize
