i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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