So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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