Can i not drive my cunt home
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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