You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
