If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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