I wish my penis had an off switch
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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