barbara walters just said penis...
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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