it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
