you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
