Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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